Collector Jen

Collector Jen 

Ohh nooo, ohh no

It's 8 again

I dread the ring tone

It's collector Jen

When she calls 

the conversation's well scripted

"who am I speaking with

any objections to the call?

Just to let you know,

I'm recording it all.

and in case your wonderin'

My name is collector Jen

"This is an attempt to collect a debt"

it's not personal it's how I earn my check

"Your account is several payments due

we accept debit, check, and money orders too!"

"Oh and if you hang up

we'll keep on calling you!

You can run but you can't hide

we know your family"

Patiently I waited for her to end her Verbiage

Don't like to admit it I had been baited 

when the local number flashed my screen

I answered with the green

Had I known it was collector Jen

my phone would have ringed

let her call again

it doesn't matter to me

She thinks a voicemail concise and sweet

would entice me to use the re-dial feat

but I'm a winner, a master player

I know this game, I've played before

I know how it goes

"Sir, can you at least make a partial payment?"

"No!......"

"Well can't you borrow from someone you know?"

"Your...your name is Jen right?.."

"Right!"

"Well I uh..I think we've gotten well acquianted

it's almost like we know each other...

I want to say Jen, I'm broke can you lend a hand?

But say no more! You know my case!"

You see my answer to that is if ya'

gonna ask me to borrow from family, friends, or someone else

just to rob Peter to pay Paul...you know it goes

well then let's start with you

Can you fund me? GoFundme? Western Union me?

Naw naw, see I knew you were too stingy

Ahh I see it's cause it's me, you don't know me enough

Right? So why do you think it's fair

To ask a silly question like that?

Oh you get paid? I do too...

But I have bills you know...

those things that come every month?

I'm sure you can relate...

like every pay date

why not wait?

I might be paying late

"We'll take you to court"

"Go right ahead, I'll take an unpaid

keep the hearing from being delayed

You know there is only one way this is gonna go"

"I cannot give what I don't have

"You're too invested

become uninterested"

(written 01/2/2017)